eccentricpirate | Recent Entries

[It was one thing for Edward to disappear on him. The crazy fucker got into these weird moods where he just had to fuck off and make life difficult for everyone around him (Read: Izzy). These moods could sometimes last months, and Izzy had learned to live with that (read: by bitching relentlessly about it at all times.)

But something about this time felt…different. Ed wasn’t just talking about some new hyperfixation; he was actually making changes to the Blackbeard brand, and dragging Ivan and Fang into it. At this rate, Bonny Bonnet’s was going to eat up the whole Blackbeard brand. He couldn’t let that happen.

Especially not after seeing the fucking ridiculous place. A boat? In a river in DULUTH?!]

Fucking mental. [Derogatory.

He pounds on the door to Edward’s camper.]

Edward! Open up, you twat!

[When Alma had made her devious plan to trick Ed and Mary into going on a date together, she hadn't factored in just how many adults OTHER than her father were around to babysit her and Louis. And that she would develop Some Kind of Feelings for Anne, so she couldn't throw a temper tantrum and guilt her dad into staying.

Also, her mom was weirdly insistent on Stede coming. Like it would be weird if he didn't or something.

UGH. Nothing ever goes right in her life. EVER. She sits sulkily in the mess hall, eating Roach's version of chicken soup. He'd stomped off when she complained it was bland and demanded hot sauce.]

[Alma flops over the arm of the hotel room couch, precariously balanced and in danger of falling on her face. It's not a comfortable position, but SHE'S not comfortable right now so it's the position that suits her mood.

She'd been stuck at Mary and Doug's hotel while her dad and Ed were both in the hospital. She's glad they're getting medical help, but it's been DAAAAAAAAYS. Why did it have to take so long? And worse, even though Stede's supposed to get out TODAY, Doug's not picking them up until TOMORROW. ("Hospital stays are stressful and they deserve some time to relax" or something like that.)

She's so bored she wants to die.]

( Read more... )

[Doug arrives right on time the next morning and immediately sweeps both kids into a big hug. He goes around to each member of the crew, shaking their hands and thanking them for taking care of the kids. He invites Ed to join him and the kids for brunch nearby.

Alma sits on the edge of the deck, waiting for Doug to come back from talking to Stede for them to go. She’d apologized and it fixed nothing, which hurts, but now that Doug’s actually here, it doesn’t bother her quite as much. He’s stable, and that’s reassuring.]

( Read more... )

[As the weeks pass with no sign of Jim returning, Stede can feel Ed's restlessness and worry. He'd had no idea the two were so close!

So Stede suggests they do a little traveling, like proper cowboys. Get out for a bit, see the sites, have some quality time together, and maybe see if they can find any sign of Jim.

A week into their trip and Stede is bitterly regretting everything. Snowfall had some early, just like Ed had said it would, and the combination of bitter cold, change in barometric pressure, and the bright glare of sunlight on snow has given Stede the worst headache in the entirety of his existence.

And of course, they're in the middle of nowhere, so there's no place for them to stop; they've got a few more hours of riding before they can expect to find shelter.

In sheer, agonized desperation, Stede takes the scarf from his neck and ties it around his eyes. His neck may freeze, but the reduction of light and the pressure against his eyeballs takes the edge off of his pain.

He doesn't need to see to ride, right? His horse will just follow Ed's. This is fine. Everything is fine.]

[Though Governor Chauncey Badminton had wanted to personally tour what was surely the wreck of Baby Bonnet's little year-round festival, political obligations got in his way. Such was the burden of power, it seemed.

Still, he had to know what was going on with Baby Bonnet. So he sent his younger brother, Mayor Nigel Badminton, in his stead.]

( Backstory )

( The Festival )

[cue spy music]

[well fuck my drag]

[That one little kiss changed everything.]

[Stede's so excited that he actually managed to pull this off -- getting the Revenge to a leisure planet in Federation space with Ed none the wiser.

Starfleet neither. Stede has no idea how the Enterprise managed it, but he's been assured that they will not run into a single law enforcement problem on this planet. (Kirk and his ship will also be there, which may be part of the reason why they're able to make that kind of guarantee.)

Stede bursts into his & Ed's cabin with great gusto.]

GET DRESSED, MY DARLING! WE'RE GOING SHOPPING!

[Things were supposed to be better once they were back on the Revenge. But Stede feels like he was happier and more at peace with himself & his relationship with Ed when they were in the Enterprise’s brig.

Ed would deny it to his dying breath, but Stede knows it’s his fault. They can’t do anything more than cuddle and quick pecks on the lips without Stede having a fit that makes him feel like he’s dying. Ed keeps trying to talk to him about it, but it just brings up big ugly feelings that make Stede want to yell and say cruel things that Ed doesn’t deserve, so he changes the subject. His intense avoidance seems to be getting on Ed’s nerves, which hurts and terrifies Stede, and sometimes he has to go hide in the Jeffries tubes so he can cry. (He’d use the secret rooms, but Ed can always find him there. The Jeffries tubes are harder.)

Weeks pass. Each week feels like a fresh layer of hell.]

[After Jack leaves, the Ranchstead settles into a new kind of normal. Not that having Ed around wasn’t normal before, but the quality of his presence changes. Maybe it’s because he’s committed to sticking around.]

[Chauncey is sitting on a powder keg and he doesn't even know it. Partially because he's under house arrest and confined to his quarters, and partially because he's an idiot. Largely because he's an idiot.

He had ordered the Enterprise to go at little more than a crawl towards Earth, trying to give himself as much time as possible to torture Stede and get what he considers justice for his brother. He didn't account for Stede's knowledge of Federation law, the disinclination of the legacy Enterprise crew to indulge his tyranny, or the fact that "Mary Bonnet" was playing double agent. He certainly hadn't accounted for Dr. Chapel drugging him and confining him to quarters -- nor for his XO to support her decision. (The XO has their own reasons for maintaining the snail's pace and for keeping Chauncey confined.)

So perhaps it's more accurate to say that the XO doesn't know the powder keg they're sitting on, and how the brig has become the planning hub for mutiny. Mary has proven herself to be an incredible mole; Ed, of course, is a brilliant tactician who has mutinied before, and Stede?

Stede is surprisingly inspirational. Who fucking knew?]

[After just a few weeks, Ed's healed up marvelously. Almost too marvelously... Stede's rather worried that he'll decide he's all healed up, change his mind about wanting to get out of the outlaw game, and go rejoin that Izzy Hands.

He's worried for his own selfish reasons, which he does not think about, but also for the sake of the Ranchstead. Ed's turned out to be an invaluable help around the place. He's enabled them to expand their operation and create more products to sell (getting guests to stay at the Ranchstead still hasn't really been successful). It's exciting to have more money coming in and to see the happiness on everyone's faces as they feel more successful and self-sufficient, but they won't be able to keep it up if Ed leaves. They'd have to hire someone and bring a new person into the fold, and Stede has no idea how to go about doing that.

He really, REALLY hopes Ed doesn't decide to leave.]

That AOS AU
Enter Lt. Chekov: Lucius, how long until Lt. Chekov arrives? And sit up straight, while you’re at it. We need to be impressive. (complete)

Mr. Buttons, I Presume: Yer what, laddie? Intimidated? [His Scottish gets increasingly thick.] Never seen a man in the prime of his life before? (complete)

That Cowboy AU
The Notorious Outlaw Blackbeard: In which Izzy Hands and a very injured Blackbeard stumble upon the Gentleman's Ranchstead (complete)

Love is a Hot Bath: In which Lucius reveals to Ed just how gay the Gentleman's Ranchstead is, and Ed falls madly in love over a hot bath. (Izzy, of course, is displeased.) (complete)

Trouble's A-Comin': In which Fang and Ivan come bearing news of the law and Ed & Izzy fight over their next course of action. Stede wins. (complete)

Meanwhile, The Bad Guys: In which the bad guys are homophobic and racist, we meet Jeff the Accountant, and Stede's passive aggression saves the day. (complete)

Murder, Hypothetically Speaking: In which Jim comes back from chasing the bad guys

The Chore Chart: In which Roach is annoyed, Wee John is Pleased, Ed is useful, and Stede is a Rich Idiot. (complete)